在別人的不圓滿中我們的選擇

在吳鲲生的書“走慢點,才來得及”裡,他指出

“社會仍是有它的不圓滿。 如果你是缺乏者,在不圓滿中,你要設法活下去,不尖酸、不刻薄的活下去。 如果你是有餘者,在別人的不圓滿中,你必須選擇:選擇避開缺乏者的眼神,還是——沒有戒心的迎著他們。 在不圓滿中,缺乏者和有餘者,同時都面對挑戰;而人性的美和醜,就在當中浮沉。”

十分地慚愧,以前有很多時候,我都會避開人們的眼神而經過。 如今,我是常有預備,迎著他們。

We need to assert ourselves

Stéphan Carnier’s book “How to Think Like a Cat” is not about cat but us. I appreciate his reflection on being assertive, “Many of us find it hard to assert ourselves in front of other, either out of shyness or lack of confidence…if other people take up more space than you, it’s because you let them do so…Cats take the space that is their due, without crushing their neighbour, but they do not tolerate any encroachment on the space. They assert themselves quietly. They don’t play the tyrant, but neither do they accept a walk-on part”.

I have learned the need to be assertive the hard way in the past years of working as a priest/pastor. Trying the please everyone, keeping my reputation to be a nice guy and avoiding (& being afraid of) conflicts are the main reasons causing me feeling hard to be assertive.

Asserting ourselves actually is being authentic, being honest to ourselves (and others) and the way to take care of ourselves. Then we learn how to respect others’ space and boundary. In the end, we all grow (together).