Walking the Third Way: Embracing Unity and Inclusion in LGBTQ+ Conversations Within the Church

In his book, A Letter to My Congregation: An Evangelical Pastor’s Path to Embracing Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People into the Company of Jesus, Ken Wilson insightfully offers us “The Third Way,” a new approach to inclusion. This framework challenges the traditional binary of affirming or rejecting and instead calls for a radical form of unity—one that does not hinge on resolving the complex moral and theological debates surrounding gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals. It invites churches to recognize these questions as “disputable matters,” allowing believers to hold differing views without division.

I resonate deeply with his perspective, particularly the notion that “The Third Way” is “a way to fully include people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender in the life of the church while recognizing that the church has not yet resolved the question of the morality of gay relationships. Instead of forcing a resolution on the question, it calls for regarding it as a ‘disputable matter’—something we can agree to disagree on.”

Wilson explains this approach with remarkable clarity and grace: “We can agree to disagree on this question without separating from each other. We can hold our respective positions as firmly as our conscience dictates. But we have chosen not to treat this matter as something we have to hold in common in order to share a true unity of the Spirit.” His words remind us that the unity of the church does not require uniformity but rather a commitment to love and fellowship despite differences.

This perspective reflects the radical inclusivity modeled by Christ, who accepted people without predicating His love on agreement with their lifestyle or moral decisions. As Wilson points out, “A third way asks people who differ on this question to accept each other as Christ has accepted them, without predicating acceptance on affirming the other’s lifestyle in this and many other moral questions.” This echoes Paul’s exhortation in Romans 15:7: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

By framing inclusion as a way of agreeing to disagree while maintaining unity, Wilson offers a powerful model for navigating contentious issues within faith communities. His vision encourages churches to become places where people with diverse convictions can live in fellowship, focusing not on uniformity but on the shared pursuit of Christ-like love and understanding. The Third Way requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to prioritize relationships over disagreements, embodying the essence of what it means to be the body of Christ.